The Champions of Beer

The second leg of the triathlon begins with the echoing scream of a small air horn. Somewhat clumsily—but less clumsily than the starts to come—the athletes mount their bikes, push themselves forward, find their balance and depart the parking lot like a band of clowns exiting the big top.

In the lead: Jeff Engell, a robust-looking cyclist dressed from head to toe in synthetic fibers, including a pair of fuchsia panties over full-body spandex and a flowing wig of bouncy black curls. As the group heads east on Lincoln Avenue, Engell continues to separate himself from the pack. In second, the tandem chugs along. Behind the pair are several riders from “Team Christmas” and Jim Bailey, who is dressed in a blaze orange prison jumpsuit.

“They let you keep them when you get out,” he jokes later.

The pack turns onto Timberline Road and heads north with Engell still in a distant lead.

Then it happens—“the equalizer,” they later call it.

A train appears ahead, and Engell sprints to cross the tracks before the locomotive becomes a roadblock. He makes it, but the others are cut off by the slugging, chugging machine that stops, goes forward, then back, stops and goes forward again.

“Seriously, we're pissed,” one cyclist laments as the train shows no sign of passing. They wait as more of the pack catches up, and then the train begins to pull forward, its tail getting closer and closer to the road.

It stops about 10 yards from the street, and the group wails in frustration. The two tandem riders get off their bike, pick it up, and begin running toward the train's rear. Others follow: several riders dressed in Christmas sweaters and Santa hats carry their bikes across the dirt field and over the tracks.

A railroad worker watches the scene, jaw dropped.

Miles ahead, Engell's wig blows in the wind as he rides solitarily, his legs smoothly pedaling the slick road bike. He veers left and pulls into the parking lot, halting to a stop after he crosses an invisible finish line.

The five-mile ride wasn't too bad, but likely the most difficult of this triathlon. The others come in minutes later, cyclist by cyclist, until all 10 have completed the second portion of the race.

“OK, Got Carbs. Congrats on finishing the second leg,” race organizer Engell yells out. “Now, let's get our beer samples.”

Behind the group of oddly dressed athletes looms the giant, smoking factory of Anheuser-Busch.

Got Carbs, the event that brought out this band of misfit competitors, is not your average triathlon. According to race information, it's the “inaugural great outdoor triathlon of Colorado adventure race brewtime spectacular,” an event that “combines two favorite Colorado pastimes, engaging in athletic activities and consuming beer.”

The winner of the event is the one with the highest score. Points are earned by completing the athletic portions—including a three-mile run, three legs of biking totaling more than 11 miles, and a short swim, which is more like a mad dash across the Poudre River—and by consuming samples from five local breweries.

“You gotta carb-load, you know,” Engell smiles, stretching in the middle of the Odell Brewing tasting room after the morning run and after finishing his six beer samples.

He turns to the Got Carbs participants: “Anyone need Advil, Icy Hot or Flexall?”



Colorado is full of contrasts: The tendency for residents to be super-fit and partake in rigorous activities while living among, supporting and appreciating a thriving beer industry is just one example. Yes, Colorful Colorado may be one of the fittest states, but it is also one of the booziest.

Got Carbs celebrates that contrast.

“It's really inspired by the brewing culture here, which makes Fort Collins a really unique place,” Engell said. “There are so many different 5Ks and races; we also have that culture of athleticism. Everything is a competition. So, we wanted to come up with something challenging but not impossible and something different than anything out there.”

It took months to prepare: planning a triathlon course, coming up with a point system, contacting the breweries and working out logistics. He organized a crew, which included his mom, sister and girlfriend, to drive along with water, food and juice boxes and to pick up anyone who got a flat tire or experienced any problems.

He then collected friends and family to participate—those who would appreciate such an event. Several of the competitors are veterans of running marathons or competing in triathlons; Bailey ran a marathon in Ireland not long ago, and competitor Jon Harrington had recently completed a 50-mile ultra marathon.

“I think that the people who were interested in the race were a little different than the type of person who would just want to do a day of brewery tours,” Engell said. “It's people who like the competition aspect, who are in it for something a bit more. I don't think we went out to set a world record. But I do think it takes a different kind of person.”



“Oh yeah, now I can taste those chocolaty overtones,” says one competitor, breathing heavy and getting off his bike in the Anheuser-Busch parking lot.

It's a reference to the beer, the last sample he sipped at Odell Brewing Co.

The group heads inside to the tasting room, a bit tired from the uphill ride but in good shape. Heads turn as they walk in, wearing an assortment of costumes and red-faced from the ride.

They toast to the completion of leg two, and then get a group photo with the famous Clydesdales.

And with another blast of the air horn, they set off. Engell, who is an experienced cyclist and teaches a spinning class for the city, once again pushes past the rest of the competitors. Once again, on the way back into town, he beats another train and leaves the pack behind, frustrated and cursing. He pulls into Fort Collins Brewery and the room cheers when he walks in. He has beaten the timekeeper and runs to the bartender to write down his time.

When the rest of the group arrives, Engell has already recruited more competitors for next year's Got Carbs. The group mingles in the small but welcoming tasting room, gets a tour through the expanding facility and then heads out again.

They do a short ride to New Belgium Brewing; Engell once again wins but not by much. Competitors now look a bit glassy-eyed, either from the beer or riding in the cold air.

The next leg, the last of the inaugural Got Carbs triathlon, is likely the most dreaded. At the final sound of the air horn, the racers look like convicts escaping prison, fleeing New Belgium, down Linden Street and into the riverbed of the Poudre. Carrying their bikes, they scatter into the freezing cold water, avoiding the iced-over areas. On the other side, successfully across, they slowly pull themselves up a dirt bank and sprint toward Old Town. Three female competitors find themselves stuck, continually falling back into the riparian area in fits of giggles.

Blocks away, the racers get comfortable in the CooperSmith's poolside area, taking in the last samples of Got Carbs. The fatigue has set in; they can feel their joints and muscles responding to the day's activities. They toast the success of this conspicuous event.

“I was thrilled the way it turned out,” Engell said later. “The main objective was that everyone got every place safely and that happened. Everyone had fun, and it was done without incident. For a first-year event, there was no major faux pas.”

Got Carbs is destined, he says, to become an annual tradition, a locals' event to celebrate the local way of life—and to someday become a charitable event.

“It would be great to find the right type of nonprofit, something with the same kind of sense of humor,” he said.

Sitting in the softly lit room of in the Old Town brewpub, the Got Carbs crew look like a rag-tag group of athletes—tired, somewhat drunk but victorious. They then announce the winners: Cori Steiler, the petite blonde from Team Christmas, won the female side. Engell took the men's competition.

“There is probably gonna be some fallout, people thinking I rigged it,” Engell said. “But it feels pretty good to win the first Got Carbs.”